new life

Since when I was a little girl I wished and dream of new horizons, places, people, situations, and challenges.  I was always looking for something new that will make my mind fly and learn in a way that I was not able to do in the conventional way. School was interesting only in Geography, History, and Art, all the other classes were boring and way over my head. Reading was a life saver,  the world was right there at my door. Little I did know that life was going to provide it in abundance and plenty for sharing. After a long time I realized I was looking for my ancestor, all that lost family, those persons that I did not even knew existed. My father started to investigated and search with a determination that  got me interested, his started point was to look for the family of his mother, she never talk about them or even mention where they live or who they were.  He look for them all his life and never was able to find them. He would write every church, towns or village looking for his roots, his profound interest make me think and start wondering about that family and then I got very interested no only in his family but also in my mother’s family and even my in law’s family. Those persons who came before and give us all those genes and personality. I want to know what they thought about life, family, their environment, their place in the community and how they resolve every day challenges and pain. Who they were, how shy or outgoing they were, their sorrows and what make them extremely happy and content with their surroundings.  What part of the physical or intellectual do we inherited?, to whom do we resemble?, all this feelings increase when I had my children and and now that I am a grandmother is even greater.  When we left our country and emigrated, with all the changes in my life I felt this need to connect with the past, to know who they were my ancestors, to feel accepted no matter were I am. Changes and new challenges makes me more vulnerable and I feel I need to probe everyday that I have something to offer that I am a person with a lot to give, that I came from a good family with values and traditions,and to thanks this new country that give me shelter and peace. My grandchildren also inspire me, I want to leave them a history of who we are, my children may not remember all that oral history but in this way I want all of them to know how my love is transmitted through this writings.